Two white boys and a BBC (starring Nathaniel Burts, Britain Wesbury, and Devin Trez)

February 14th, 2019. 9:27 AM. Petty Theft. 21 Year Old White Male, 5”8’ and 19 Year Old White Male, 5”9’. Our Loss Prevention Officer observes that one of the perps has stolen roses and a box of chocolates from the storefront. Upon interrogation, the perp explains that he has shoplifted the goods to give as a gift to his accomplice, as they are currently in a relationship of a romantic nature. They ask to resolve the theft without notifying local law enforcement or their families as they hoped to keep the relationship a secret. In the interest of maintaining confidentiality, the perps agree to special terms created by our Loss Prevention Officer, and he proceeds to deliver retribution on his own terms.